Body Language

The start of the fall semester is upon us, and that means the usual student crowd is filling the college bar each night.  A week in I have already had plenty of time to observe some interesting interactions and brainstorm new topics.  Today I choose body language.

To me, this is one of the easiest things to read while interacting with another person.  But, from what I've noticed while out socializing this week, a lot of people can't read it at all.  Girls, I know you read Cosmo every month (boys you do too, I have proof) and they are always talking about body language clues.  In case it's too complicated, I have simplified it for you here:

We face the direction of whatever we are most interested in at the time.  So, if you're chatting up a hottie, chances are the majority of your body is facing his or her direction.  It's usually the chest that squares itself to our interest.  On the reverse, if you're really into someone and she has her body squared to the stairs, I'd say she's more interested in taking a lap to see who else is at the bar.  Or if he's got one leg pointed in your direction but his chest is facing that girl from Finite across the room, he's pretending to care about what you are saying while seeing how much better Finite girl looks outside of class.
**I've actually watched girls talk to a guy's back while his head looked over his shoulder for most of the conversation.  Sorry girls, but it doesn't get more obvious than that!**

If he or she starts to mirror your movements, you two are definitely on the same wavelength.  I don't mean by playing copycat, that's just creepy.  These are things like leaning forward when you are telling him or her something and he or she leans in too.  Or holding your drink in the same hand/height/manner.  Talking together rapidly and using the same phrases as one another happens a lot too.  And I'd say someone ordering the same drink as you after having tried yours is never a bad sign.

Speaking of leaning in, this is a good thing!  When people lean in toward one another, they are excited or enthusiastic about whatever is going on. Maybe they are great friends and excited to see one another, or maybe they are excited about the chance of dating this awesome person.  Either way their body is actually trying to get closer to the person of interest.

One bad sign that I notice quite often is people putting up barriers.  We all do it, and don't even notice when it happens.  I happened to catch myself physically trying to distance myself from someone the other day.  I was having a conversation and felt like this guy was getting too close so I laughed at his joke and put my left elbow on the table in order to cover my face with my hand.  I was basically telling him I would love to chat with you but please don't touch me or get too close.  I created distance, but I didn't actually move.

We do these kinds of things all the time to tell someone we are or aren't interested without having to say a word.  It's human nature.  We want people to like us, but not always "like us" like us.  And we definitely don't like to hurt other people's feelings because none of us wants to get hurt in return.

*By the way, I don't just make this stuff up.  I spent 4 days researching and reading up on all of these things to make sure everything I said is true.  If you're interested in finding out more, I definitely suggest a google search or two, I learned a ton!